The process of an invitational intervention is much more of a way for some families, these are the lovely people that I took the Break Through invitational intervention with , this past weekend in San Francisco, CA. Great training and great new colleagues.
Families & Friends email me to asked the Big question , does intervention work ??? or should we do an intervention? and the outcome question comes next ? does intervention a support / help convince people to change, or are they a waste of time?
The answer goes something like this – an intervention is not only for the patient that has an addiction, it is for the whole family to make the changes so that the patient has an opportunity to hear from the family unit that they are cared for, and that there is a plan of action, to get help. Mostly , it is 85% of folks that will take the options put in front of them to access help and support through many types of resources.
Patient are really overwhelmed when loved ones come together, to share that they are loves, and care about, most addicted person suffered from low self esteem, believing that all family members hate them, and cannot wait to get away from them. when the family puts this information out in the middle of a family meeting, a big change happens for everyone. It becomes a family problem instead of an individual problem which in turn takes away the pressure from the addicted person, they too become willing to get help.
You should never do a family intervention unless you have a professional leading the family meeting. People do not need to die anymore, and the old lye that we need to let them bottom out is also a lye, the disease of addiction is a brain disease that cannot be arrested until the patient is completely abstinence – they are untreated – and need a form of treatment to get well, just like any rehab from a heart disease, kidney disease, if you don’t do rehab, you will have to go back to the hospital and get treated. Addiction is the same way, the patient needs to get treated, and family are the ones that will and can help put that in place with the help of a professional.
if you need help call www.canaminterventionsvcs.com
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14 minutes ago
Regardless of age we have to send, receive, and process many messages every day. We interact with many types of people that have different behaviors, beliefs, lifestyles and practices. Communication is very important because as you grow up, you face more complicated issues and responsibilities. Effective communication will make you, children, to be well equipped in order to face life’s challenges and to solve every problem that comes along the way.
Proper way of communication is a great tool for problem solving. Communication helps you better understand a person or situation. Through listening, you will be able to listen to the other person’s point of view and you become more considerate of the situation. You become more compassionate and not judgmental. When you are able to understand the situation, then you will learn the ways on how to solve the problem. You tend to focus more on the positive side of things. You become more open to the different factors that contribute to the problem. This will avoid putting the blame unto others or looking back into the past.
Good communication helps you resolve any differences. When you communicate with others, you learn to accept that every individual is unique. You will learn to enjoy the traits that other people have that you don’t have. There are many positive things that you can learn when there is open and effective communication. Being assertive is one way of showing that you are open to individual differences. When you have this trait, you will avoid misunderstandings and you will find an easy time to patch up things whenever there is a conflict. You will learn to be more mature in the way you perceive and treat others.
Communication helps build trust and respect. Trust and respect are very important in problem solving. When you talk and the other person listens attentively and understands your point of view, you develop trust and respect towards him or her. When there is trust, you will be able to express your feelings in an honest manner. When you respect the other person, you will avoid having arguments and choose to have proper confrontations. You develop loyalty towards each other. You also develop a sense of responsibility of solving any problem in order to preserve the trust and respect.
Communication creates an environment where creative ideas, affection, and care can flourish. An effective communication caters to all kinds of productive and healthy ideas. It allows suggestions and advices that give solution to the problem. Brainstorming is one way of developing great solutions to problems. Through communication, you also strengthen your bond with your friends and families. You develop the atmosphere of love, care and trust. When these are present, then you are able to gain success in your problem solving. These will help you out to become a more positive, loving and goal-oriented individual.
I will release myself from the compulsion to repeat destructive and painful patterns, by being willing to acknowledge the wounds that lie beneath them. In my attempts to keep these wounds from being known, I keep myself away from important parts of myself. Then I seek out situations that will allow my wounds to surface and be felt.
… My unconscious knows what it is carrying within it and wants it to come to the surface so that it can heal. While I hold it in darkness, I keep an emotional infection from getting the light and air that it needs to heal. I will not glorify living mindlessly and without pain. I will use my pain to cleanse my self.
I am willing to acknowledge my wounds.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self. and the wounds to the soul take a long, long time, only time can help and patience, and a certain difficult repentance, long difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistakes and the freeing of one’s self from the endless repetition of the mistake . . . has chosen to sanctify.
Addiction is a devastating disease that affects not just the addict, but the loved ones as well. It is a painful experience that can have long-lasting emotional, behavioral and financial consequences. Here are some tips for living and dealing with a person who’s addicted to drugs: Take care of yourself. Dealing with a drug addict is very emotionally draining and very time consuming. Make time to do things away from the addict and return the focus to positive things in your life. Don’t let your loved one’s addiction become the focus of your life. Protect your money. Feeding an addiction is very expensive, and many addicts will use money that’s needed for bills, groceries and other necessities to feed their habit. Keep a separate checking and savings account that only you have access to. Don’t enable the addict. Oftentimes addiction creates codependent relationships in which family members or partners lie for and cover up for the addict. You may think this is helping the addict, but it is only enabling their addiction. Make it clear that you are no longer willing to be a part of your loved one’s addiction. Don’t accept abusive behavior. Addiction is not an excuse for physical violence or emotional abuse. If your loved one is dangerous to live with, get out and stay out until sobriety is achieved for a marked amount of time. Join a support group. Remember that you are not alone. Furthermore, these three ideas are worth considering when dealing with addiction:
1) Setting boundaries
2) Communication and/or Intervention
3) Practicing detachment
Setting boundaries: Let the addict know exactly what acceptable behavior to you is. For example, you might tell your spouse that if they go to jail again for drunk driving that you are not going to bail them out again. This is an example of setting a boundary. It is not a threat; instead you are simply stating what is unacceptable in the relationship. Setting these types of boundaries might not change the addict’s behavior directly, but it can start to make a dent in their denial and get them thinking. Your strategy in setting effective boundaries should be to distance yourself from the chaos that an addict creates. Let them know that you are not going to be a part of that chaos.
Intervention: Intervention is about setting a family meeting to communicate your concerns with the addict; it is an opportunity to share your observations, goals and reinforce boundaries and limits. A proper intervention must be done with love and respect in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental manner, offering options, support and a way out of addiction. There are two types of intervention: An informal one: where family and friends of an addict approach him/her to discuss their concerns; Or, a professionally facilitated intervention- which is a structured method of assisting a person and family struggling with addiction issues.
Appropriate things to address during an intervention are:
- How you feel about what’s happening to the addict.
- How his or her actions are affecting you.
- A clear statement that you will not tolerate drug use any longer.
- An explanation of the consequences for continued use.
Word of caution: there is a good possibility that an intervention will not be successful, and may even damage the relationships further; Research shows that an intervention is not the most effective way for dealing with addiction.
Practicing detachment: Another thing that you can do to help a struggling addict is to detach from them emotionally. This is difficult and might seem counter intuitive to some people, but in the long run it is the best behavior that you can display in order to move the addict closer to change. The idea is to still care for and about the person without rescuing them from their own natural consequences. In other words, no more bailing them out of jail or trying to cover for them when they screw up really bad. Sometimes we have to back off and let them skin their knee a few times in order to learn a lesson. You can never deny an addict of their pain….they will always find a way to self-destruct if that is their mission. Detachment is about letting them do this without becoming emotionally involved in their pain. Because when you become emotionally involved, you have a tendency to step in and rescue them from their pain and thus deny them of a learning experience. You deny them of the chance to suffer great pain that might force them to finally change. So practice detachment and let them fall down and experience their own consequences. If you continue to deny them these natural consequences then there is no motivation for them to change their life and seek help.Sometimes pain is the only motivator that works. And sometimes even that fails